Been through alot in life, Homeless, with no living family looking to get away from stress trauma, and abuse

Hello I’m walter, I just turned 25 2 days ago.
I been though hell, I was abused growing up, didn’t get to have my father, and both my parents passed away before i was 18, i was born with a cleft, and had alot of surgeries and my body has trauma from being cut open when i was under, I been off and on homelessness since the pandemic started. Im in a tent in Missouri and its about to get cold, but I’m just tired, im too overwhelmed I’m too stressed out, I’m too sad, I’m too angry, I’m too frustrated, and I want to be done, I deal with suicidal thoughts but i don’t want to die, I just want some peace of mind and a break from life, I’m not stupid or lazy, but my Depression and PTSD don’t let me do the things I want to do, I want to be able to work on the revolution, and do organizing work, and journalism to change the world for the better, I want to help others like me so they don’t have to suffer like I did/am but I cant help others untill I help myself, I don’t want to stay stuck in misery, I want to go somewhere warm where i can catch a break, destress and heal. I don’t mean to just wine and complain about my crappy life, I want to take steps to make it better, so if anyone reads this, can anyone please help me.

A long time ago I use to enjoy gaming, D&D, I’m still a Beatles fan. I been too poor to invest in d&d books or video games an IC that has a small gaming community would be ideal.

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