"Utopia" looks different to different people

Someone wrote a post about how people seeking intentional community are seeking a utopian vision, or perhaps expressing a utopian vision. I posite that utopia for me and utopia for someone else could be, and are, vastly different. And that is okay because what makes my inner world go 'round isn’t the same as what makes someone else’s go 'round.

What I would say is that the key is finding like-minds to yourself and that’s how you find people to viably make community with. I wonder if this is why people often only last for short times in any given community, I see so many people who move to new intentional communities every couple of years on here, and I wonder why? But perhaps the wy is because cocreating utopia is by its nature challenging. I’m hoping this forum resource will enable folks to find people with whom their utopian dreams allign so that everyone can be in a community which meets their needs and their goals.

I guess what I’m saying is that we don’t need to get discouraged if we haven’t found people yet whose utopia ideas match ours, because we can keep seeking and searching until we find such connections, even if it takes time.

haha, that’s great. " It’s " not even about that for me so you prove your point with me !

For me it’s about the relationships. That is what a community is built around. I can join in U in your business centered ic (say a retreat ctr, or furniture making , etc, does not matter). Ur 'utopian creation ic. Is it a religion based ic? Sure… BUT

to me the ic is built on how we relate to each other. THAT creates my daily soup - I gotta swim around in…

I like ur last sentence too as it fits w/a piece of my philosophy ‘U gotta do something while you’re waiting for life to begin (again).’

  • -Chad

That is so true! Even in a family, utopia is different. Mine would be centered around art making and food growing/cooking. My partner’s would be centered around intellectual conversations with other readers or film buffs, near to a city where people read the NYT. While we are sober and prefer to live around sober folks, some of our friends drink and smoke weed regularly. While we wouldn’t want to participate in religious stuff, our good friends would love to live in a pagan community. While we’d love to live in a queer community, how dogmatic might that be? So much to think about in co-living!

I think that all these differing ideas make it hard to find cofounders, because everyone dreams of something different. Right now I have 6, possibly 7 in my cofounding group including me, and a few other interesteds, so maybe, just maybe we can all make something sort of kind of utopian happen by combining community visions. Right now what I’m doing is talking with each household to see if we’re compatible for working together on this, and when we are I add them to the cofounding group, we will be all meeting together for the first time in a week or two, so I’m excited and hopeful. I know that these things fluctuate so not to get my hopes up right away, because things can change, for positive or for negative, tomorrow. Things are nebulous in the beginnings. So far we’ve agreed on: A community with diverse experiences where we will agree to disagree and focus on commonalities. Some tiny houses, and other dwellings, permiculture/gardens/solar/sustainability goals, a maker space, creativity, events and classes for ourselves and for the public, concerts etc. intergenerational, some community businesses and some individual work. A commonhouse of some kind, land, etc.

Well it looks like I’ll need to settle for less-than utopia for me, as we’ve discovered that we have neither the finances nor the 24/7 energy to be founders, even with a group of fellows. I’ve resigned myself to the fact that, inspite of lots of ambition and intellectual and social skills, we’re destined to be joiners due to my husband’s socially demanding job and the fact that we can contribute but not 24/7 emotionally/physically. All of our free time can’t go to building sheds and digging ditches and having meetings. Some can, but not all. So due to those realities creating my personal utopia won’t happen. Now my hope is that A, we can join the mobile home cooperative nearby, B, eventually our friends and former cofounders will keep moving forward, buy land and build infastructure and we can buy in when its possible to do so, C, something else viable will materialize if I keep looking hard that, even if not utopia, could be pretty good.

Hearing you! If i can respond with a thought. Like minded people is also a perspective. Consensus builds a community of people with many differing ideas that have common goals. Therein lies a community that can solve any problem because there is an underlying thread of a delicate democratic willingness to think for the whole rather than the individual. Whenever I’ve had to choose to go was when this gentle balance was gone.

yes, 1st personal chemistry. Then sitting together (over time, not 1’n done) simply to labor together ona vision (of community) can actually build one. Minds/personalities that are flexible enuff to give/take. Feelers still out there to notice any real danger signs. Personal gravitas to speak up when moving too far away from what matches for the self. Advocacy ability yet ability to see it morph into something a lill different.
Participation that receives back energy. (bad amnalogy but: like a marriage. U can get more energy than U put in thru putting in every oz U have. Often for me it happens in community when I’ve joined those I respect, I C them as having what I want [better facilitators, better cook/baker, whatever] as a bit beyond me & in a direction I want to grow toward). Can U join the group mind?

Its been a long time, I forgot my password, but I’ve read in the forum from time to time. Its been almost a year since I started this post, but its still true. I tried to kick my interest in community, but it never quite worked, I still keep coming back to the idea. Its on the “save for later” shelf of my life, but I’m really enjoying season 2 of Inside Community podcast though!