A week or so back a good quote was added to this Utopian Vision thread. Though the quote no longer appears, I then felt prompted to pen a few thoughts that at the time seemed relevant. But as so often occurs, I got busy with other things and forgot to post this entry. So on the off-hand chance that there might still be some lingering interest in this thread topic, - I’ll include a copy of the original quote (see below) – and just beneath this quote by E.M. Cioran, I have pasted the thoughts that occurred to me when said quote first appeared last week.
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True contact between beings is established only by mute presence, by apparent non-communication, by that mysterious and wordless exchange which resembles inward prayer.
E.M. Cioran
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Thank you for sharing the above quote. It adds to this discussion by giving attention to higher aspects of communication. It even seems that this quote might be touching on the “Kindred Connection” - that is ever present at the core of our existence, and which constitutes the eternal bond that we all share.
Though this topic might be better left in the hands of poets, I beg permission to wax philosophically for a moment. For here, I would submit that community and communication are two words that both share a common root concept. That is to say: community, communication, communion, connectedness, and even the word love (in its higher form) all point toward an ever present heart-to-heart connection.
Here I allude to the esoteric premise that all of us forever share a common and familial bond with one another. But if this is true, it begs the question: If we already share some deep soul level connection, then what is disrupting this communion and causing the apparent dis-connect which is so typical in our daily experience of interacting with others?
To begin, it should be noted: That all of us tend to engage in (and are usually unconscious of), a great number of counter-productive activities and self sabotaging mental maneuvers. In other words we all do a lot of things that are harmful and disruptive. Yet frequently, we don’t notice what we are doing -nor- do we give any thought as to why we are doing it. On a related note, it should also be mentioned that most people mistakenly think their mind is private, separate, and that their thoughts are secret and invisible to others. But, it doesn’t take much introspection and objective observation to realize that this is not true. We all affect each other by our thoughts, emotions, attitudes, and judgments (not to mention: our all-to-frequent insensitive and obtuse behavior).
So let’s now jump straight into our key question: I.E. ~ If we are already connected at the soul level of “Being”, then why don’t we experience this higher level of connection more consistently in our daily affairs?
To shed light on this - I’d like to cite a common (and usually overlooked) example of how communication, communion, connection (and community) is easily disrupted. I also offer this example to help explain and illustrate a larger point that I have been touching upon all along.
In short, the culprit lurking behind this question mark is the mindset of judgment. For most people, this business of judging others is usually thought to be of little consequence. After all, given this world’s common belief that minds are separate, - and the thoughts we entertain about one another are private, – it’s easy to overlook this pervasive tendency. In fact, most of the time, we don’t even notice that we are engaging in it.
After all, if I have a critical judgment about someone, but I wear a smile on my face and keep that judgment quietly to myself, then what’s the problem? Would it not be reasonable to just go on about my business and treat this as an insignificant little faux pah? To these questions I would say: there is nothing inconsequential about this destructive act of judging others.
Whether we judge another or they judge us, communication is disrupted. A disconnect does take place. We may not be conscious of the other person’s specific thoughts, but we can feel when we are being judged - and so can they.
To shed light on the scope and magnitude of this toxic dynamic and its ramifications, I would assert that most people are very unconscious of how pervasive, persistent, and pernicious this negative thought activity actually is. The first time I made a conscious attempt to notice and tally up how often my mind would swing the sword of judgment during any given day, I was flabbergasted.
We judge our spouses, our neighbors, those we work with, those with whom we share the road, politicians, friends, family, people who write forum blogs, those we do business with … etc., etc., etc., … ad nauseum.
Has anyone here not experienced how icky it feels to be around someone who looks down upon them in judgment? Would it not be correct to say that being judged by another disrupts any sense of closeness we might otherwise feel towards the person who is judging us? These simple deliberations should be enough to clearly indicate that we judge a lot more than we realize; and that the judgments we project onto others are disruptive to communication, communion, relationships, and community. When factored into this larger discussion on Utopian (Vision / Community / Intention), - it should go without saying that judgment is a formidable barrier that stands in the way of achieving any measurable success with regard to these higher Utopian Ideals.
We can also glean a lot from looking at the opposite side of this same coin. I suspect that at least some who might read this have had the blessed experience of interacting with someone who genuinely cared about them, who supported them, and who did not judge them. It might have been a parent, a grandparent, a teacher, a spouse, a coach, or a close friend, … etc. The essential point of this is to highlight how uplifting and heart warming these supportive and non-judgmental relationships tend to be. To Wit: for those who have experienced a relationship such as this, would it not be accurate to say that this has been the closest connection you have ever felt with another person?
It might now be time to revisit a statement I made in an earlier post. More specifically, I once asserted that without some specific, ongoing, interactive, community-wide effort to bring the ego mindset into remission, achieving a utopian outcome with regard to the intentional community concept is highly unlikely.
Tying all this together - I have cited this current example because judgment is a potent cornerstone of the ego thought system. That is to say: the ego thought construct judges constantly, and this attack minded maneuver actually upholds and perpetuates the whole ego thought system. Here it might be eye-opening to note that the ego thought construct usually exudes a mentality of separation, fear, insecurity, judgement, self-centeredness, and blind allegiance to self-interest at the expense of all other sensible considerations. This is why we must become more conscious of the ego; Otherwise, we will unwittingly get tangled up in its shenanigans.