Hello all,
I’m interested in hearing how other forum members think about internal conflict in community. I know some people believe some or most conflicts can be addressed within a community. However, after 10 years of experience living in my cohousing community (Nyland in Colorado), and from my perspective as a professional mediator (who has participated in community mediations and restorative circles), I have come to the belief that most conflict cannot be effectively facilitated within a small community due to conflicts of interest (or potential conflicts of interest), but rather needs outside facilitation. This might depend on the size of the community, although at ~90 adults my community is one of the largest I know of, so I doubt smaller communities can be better equipped in this way.
Grateful for any personal experiences, or links to relevant literature.
I think it would depend on the nature of the conflict. Because there’s a difference between (you don’t pick up your dog’s poop) and (you called my child a disgusting name and I’ve had it with you). I think that if community methods for handling conflict don’t succede then there’s nothing wrong, and a lot right, in bringing in someone from outside to facilitate and seek resolution.
Agreed! I am of the same conclusion. As a certified mediator as well, helping to build a co-housing community, I am with ya on these thoughts. I am actually quite curious if there is a list-serve for co-housing/intentional communities where we can call on mediators for other communities if something arises. Does something like that exist currently? If not, I would be open to helping organize such a thing.
@holyjohn What exactly is the nature of this type of conflict? From what I can understand this sounds a good deal more serious than a small dispute. Could you give an example on what you mean?